to look for hobbies

get up get up

just realized this diary has been up for more than a year <3

i've been thinking about new windows. maybe they don't have the same layer of city grime, maybe they see new stars or new trees or catch the sun a few hours earlier or maybe they actually have screens to keep the bugs out

finally fixed the flats on both my bikes

in - reading more - texting friends first - reoccurring donations out - spirals

about to get an x ray on my foot

hla passed and i ran a marathon and the rest of the year is still ahead of me

haven't thought about this in a while

wish i was little bug

lungs get stronger

my phone is black and white and everything works the same and there are still shadows on the walls

i signed up for a marathon

cave into yourself

time to go touch dirt again

stop biting your fingers

fall resolutions.... make beautiful soups, learn something you can't do yet, stop staring at shadows, repot a plant

hot

i wish i was a buoy

gone fishing

i'm a small small fish

good morning good luck

there's peace in your fingertips let it flow down your arms into your shoulders and fill your stomach where it'll spin around the knot of anxiety sitting there like an emptying drain

delete a thought

delete an account

we've built a world with too many mirrors we aren't built to know ourselves like this except as a fractured glance of our own reflection as we lower our body into a quiet lake

unfortunately, there are ghosts in the dark

today a pigeon pooped on me while i was biking and then i saw someone wearing one of those bike helmets that wrap around your neck and quickly inflate to hug your skull after you've fallen but before you hit the ground

bring back the diary

found the perfect truck in seattle

#nightmares about a haircut

frozen in place where is ur self definition all u see are long shadows

air is poison my chest is so TIGHT it anxious and temperamental and makes focusing so hard

beautiful pride ride and saw LCD this weekend heart so full and warm

kissing in a waterfall

ASAP (as slow as possible),

also yesterday i got a gravel bike dani started fostering rio

this weekend we saw ducks with long lanky legs from egypt that now live in LA by the river

today the subway is a bail bond headband, a crinkled mustard suit, a hand sneaking through closing doors to drop trash onto the tracks

need to be on a mountain

#too much knowledge take some away

#

new idea: shifting thoughts around so they line up in a nice way where i can't see the nasty ones behind the close ones i'm going to try and post more quick journal draws here ~ this is the view our living room this morning

a sinking ship

fresh air

testing a fresh sentence

new breathing

test

test of a world

parking garage p patch and thoughts of new uses and slow blooms

we watched for 30 minutes as the heron hopped around a tree searching for the perfect branch to add to their nest. it let us stand close - just a few feet below it. it would pull at a twig, snap it free, then after a moment decide it wasn't quite right and drop it from its beak. it moved with lanky steps to different branches, eyes narrowed hunting for the right size? weight? it didn't find one that it kept. how can you build a home like that?

#today i baked a simple bread and the bus took a turn that felt like was going to tip us over

ate a bug biking today

changed individual diary page urls so they don't expose your phone number if you want to share - now uses ur programmatic color hex 🌈

in the snow and in the sun and it's 60 degrees and i'm in a tee

i bet all i have on that furrowed brow

all these space heaters look like they're melting. towers leaning over and mesh cages bent out of shape in the heat. something can still be solid but look warped

i miss the smell of dirt. i miss trees covering the sky and trails that open into endless views. i miss sweat coving my entire body and baths in snow run off streams. the only clock is the sun moving from horizon to horizon. i want my legs to burn and my mind to be filled with simple needs and thoughts

working on trusting old words in new ways

psa u can now keep thoughts out of the public feed by starting a message with "#"

#i want to hide my thoughts away, stuff them into a drawer and just be a body moving through a big world

<3

homemade pita n humus n salad today w lise it hit so hard <3

i want to take the weights off your chest

don't look back

pic drop from today! testing an multiple images >:)

good morning days are starting earlier

it needed to feel good for the words too

these are the notes that turned into this diary the day before i built it. the 1:1 insta feed styled a la 2015 was abandoned pretty quick for the current light minimal css feeling

coffee shop home

late night bus under a full moon we just passed maybe a hundred teenagers taking over sunset on fixies downtown was filled with smoke from a fire

it'll be okay

added a small about section

it is almost impossible to avoid the excess of love a fool arouses. for only a fool is capable of excessive love. and only love makes the fool - lispector

the advantages of being foolish

i've decided not to collapse spaces or collapse new lines i want moments to be seen how messages are sent

it's a soft morning and the sun is kissing me between breaths of cold wind. yesterday i found a piece of writing from years ago, i'm not sure what i lost but i don't know if i can arrange words like that anymore

i made a page for friends i hope they like it ~ this should be a simple gentle place

(this is a test to see if i fixed message intake, if not it's okay everything can be fixed)

i watered all my plants today 🪴

oh i haven't tried an image and text at the same time

no apps or feed or anything i could use this from a flip phone the intrusive thoughts can just run wild also there's no reason multiple people can't be texting to the same feed i should try a shared page

this is my new social media

it is 66 degrees outside but warmer in my apartment, i can't see a cloud in the sky. i'm sitting on my phone at my desk sending a text message to my diary